Idioms for Idiots
by Miss Milk
Summary: Dave and John's story as told by idioms.


-to provoke further controversy

"I'm telling you, Rose. They're going out." Jade had said while she picked at her scab. She looked over at Rose who was busy writing down her homework.

"I never said they weren't," a busy hand and steady gaze copied down the answers. "What is this? Is this thirty two or thirty five?" Her eyes flicked up to look at her companion who took her homework to check.

"Who's going out?" asked a young man. Rose shook her head, a sign telling Jade not to say anything until they finally confirmed it themselves.

"Nobody. Nobody is going out with nobody. That's a thirty two." her tone tried to sound nonchalant as she handed back the homework to Rose, who muttered a soft 'thank you'.

He laughed. Too overdramatically, with his eyes squeezed shut and his head tilted back. Trying to sound charming and trustworthy.

Jade scowled at him while Rose ignored him and continued copying. "What? Don't believe me?"

"I do! I believe you," raising both his hands in mock defense "It's just that, it's been too quiet, you know. The rumors, I mean. No 'who's sleeping with who', no 'are they dating' business. It's boring lately." He sat down, tipping his chair back. Rose eyed the chair and thought of curses she had taught herself as a child to cause misfortune on those who wish to cause harm or on people who she taught were mildly annoying.

No dice.

Jade had quit picking at her scab and rubbed her thumb over the scar that it had left. "What is this? Sixth grade?"

"It's actually our third year in high school but good guess though," he replied and took a drink from his chocolate milk. "But seriously though," he tried again, wiping the chocolate milk off of his lips "what's the scoop, ladies?"

"Cronus, as much as it pains me to keep insignificant news such as gossip from you, which it doesn't just you know,"

Cronus shrugged his shoulders and continued to drink his milk.

"There is absolutely nothing that is worth getting your metaphorical panties in a twist going on." Rose smiled that smile that everyone knew her for. It was the same smile she smiled when she had a secret when she five years old and filled with a love for magic and wizards. It was the same smile she smiled when she was sixteen and had told everyone that she was a lesbian and had a girlfriend.

"Yeah, Cro. Now shove off before your boyfriend starts to miss you."  
Cronus stood up, accidentally tipping over the small carton of milk. Rose eyed the carton and its spilled contents, tsking at the sight of it dripping on to the floor.

"Yeah, well," Cronus retorted, slicking back his hair. Some of his heavy accent came out, like it always did when he was shocked. He bit his lower lip and looked around. Nobody seemed to care enough to look or to listen.

He sighed and dropped his voice to a whisper "Listen. Kankri and I, we aren't going out," He picked up his lunch tray and took the carton. "Everyone knows that."

He gave Rose and Jade a sly smile. "Okay then. If you two lovely ladies don't want to say anything, then I won't force you. See you." He winked before walking away.

When he had left, Jade looked at Rose. Both of them had a shared secret that they were going to take with them to the grave. The last thing they needed was Cronus spreading the news like wildfire. That was one of the things that they wanted to avoid.

After all, everyone knew that John and Dave were bestfriends. They had known each other longer than they knew Jade and Rose.

Those two were always together.

Back in preschool, Dave had cried on the first day because some little boy made fun of his shades when he introduced himself. All the other kids laughed at him. John had just smiled at him. Later during snacks, he was the one to approach Dave who was alone in his table, drinking apple juice and playing with an action figure he had snuck in. John told him that he thought his shades were cool and he wanted to be friends. By the end of the day, when they were the only ones left who were waiting to be fetched, Dave's older brother and John's dad found them playing in the sandbox.

In fifth grade, when John had caught the flu, Dave visited him every day, even though John's dad told him that he might get sick as well. Dave just shrugged his shoulders and said that he already had his flu shots and that he wasn't scared of getting sick like John.

John threw a pillow at his head and called him an ass.

When John's dad came upstairs to tell them that dinner was ready, he found them both asleep, John's neck strained uncomfortably and Dave drooling on his shirt.

He called Dave's brother to ask him if Dave could sleep over.

They were a perfect balance for each other. Whenever Dave would go on another of his lengthy rants, John would pull him back down and snap him out of it. Sometimes, Dave would just clam up and wouldn't talk to anyone. He won't even talk to himself. John coaxes him out of his shell when that happens.

John had a habit of overreacting and blowing things out of proportion, making small things seem like huge problems. Dave's the one who relaxes him and tells him to shut up. He stops him from making it seem like the world was going to end.

Of course, everyone knew that they were the best of friends.

Brothers from different mothers.

The yin to each other's yang.

Platonic soulmates.

However, there weren't enough platonic reassurances that could force everyone else to believe that the feelings that the both of them held for each other were anything but platonic.

That was all Jade and Rose knew.

And they weren't going to out them just yet. They needed to find out the truth first.

There's no need to provoke any further controversy.

(I apologize if there are any mistakes for I am very tired. Also, a big thank you to everyone who followed/favorited 'I Can't Believe You're Eighteen, I mean, You're Smaller Than Us'.)


End file.
